Reading Response #9, comments on Laurel Walfish’s second draft

  1. We have become desensitized to degrading women. I’m not sure this is the main point but it is what I get from reading your opening.
  2. Inner beauty is more important than physical beauty.
  3. I really liked your opening. It caught my attention and made me want to keep reading because I had never thought about how many songs there really are about butts. I also like your voice. It’s funny and energetic. It is genuine and not boring. It feels as though you’re talking to one of your friends. There are a lot of funny lines like “asspect” and “a moment on my lips will last a lifetime on my hips”. I also like the research on fat distribution. I didn’t know that having a naturally bigger butt has health benefits. I also enjoyed how you incorporated scientific research into your article. It’s evenly spread out and easy to understand.
  4. I feel that perhaps you can add a few analogies to explain the scientific concepts. As a science student, I know what an allele is but some people do not know. I also think that adding some statistics would be cool for people to read about (if there are any).
  5. I like the title. I think it really captures the idea of the article and it’s funny.

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